I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
