do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
