As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
