i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
