the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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