some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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