my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
