That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
