google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
