so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
