We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You pole danced in your parka.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
