i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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