'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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