Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
