i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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