thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
