I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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