i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
