Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
