Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
