Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
