By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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