ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
