How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
