she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
