p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
