Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Rumble strips road head = magical
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize