It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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