Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize