I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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