Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
