WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
