so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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