My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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