I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize