I feel like I'm in dance class right now
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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