Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
