is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
