Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
is it fun? or sober?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
