Swine flu. Run for my life!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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