Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Randomize
