i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Randomize
