Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
