Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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