I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize