Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
God, I missed his penis.
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