She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
