Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
