I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
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