We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
