Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
