can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Operation Purity has been aborted
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We're too hungover to prance.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
