So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
