Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
