Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hippo gnu deer
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I love you. Go after that dick
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
