don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
